We see the sayings all the time:
“Even if we end on bad terms ill always be there when you call”
“I’ll stay down no matter what”
“We don’t need a title we have a bond”
But where it gets hard is why your head and your heart don’t agree and you know its time to cut down the tree. How do you sever ties your heart is still holding on to all while suffocating the real you? How do you say something thats never been said, something foreign to the tongue but familiar in your head?
When you’ve told yourself over and over that you were done but you can’t tell the person you’re done with.
First, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, is admitting that you have a problem, that the person or thing you are hanging on to is no longer good for you. Whether they have served their purpose and its time to let them move on your you just picked up a bad apple to begin with and its time to throw them to the birds like the crust of your sandwich. Knowing that its time helps put your mind in a logical place to move on to the next step.
Now the next step, contrary to popular belief, is not the best way to get over someone is to get up under someone new
Realize what you contributed to the relationship and why it is no longer. That means the good and the bad. Realizing what toxic things you may bring to a relationships help you to be real with yourself and confront your flaws like that wax appointment you keep putting off until next month. Figure out what flaws can be fixed and what you can do differently next go round so that eventually you can pack a new bag of goodies to bring to the next table. Knowing who you are, what you want, and what you bring to the table not only perpetuates self love and strength, but also helps you practice the idea of showing healthy love and appropriate strength in future relationships
Lastly, don’t force what comes next. Let this be a sign from whatever you believe in that you may need some time for you. Do something you love; go on a couple dates to figure out the kind of partner you want. take on some new hobbies, some new books from For the Love of Words: 4 Books you should be reading NOW or even take a listen to some new podcasts from Music to my Ears: Podcasts are the new Wave let them show you things about your self you may not have known. Let whatever is next for you find YOU. That’s why its what’s next and not what’s right now. Relationships are work and love is a process that should be fulfilling for everyone involved.
But hey, what do I know? This is the extent of my love life. He may not go dutch with dinner, take me to the movies or even hold my hand at the park but I’m okay with that.
“The best things come to those who wait for it but imma be straight forward before it’s too late for it.” -Fabolous