Facebook. Facebook gets me everytime. You know exactly what I’m talking about, those Facebook memories that remind you how much better at your eyebrows you’ve gotten, how much weight you’ve gained and most of all how terrible you are at picking relationships.
As much as it hurts me to admit I SUCK at romantic relationships. I’ve been told I’m shy, which is very true; awkward, which I’ve never denied, and intimidating which perplexes me the most. I’ve never been able to juxtapose the idea of being shy AND intimidating.
I read an article once that said you have three soulmates in your life. A first love, a true heartbreak and a lifetime partner. Now I’m not saying I trust all Facebook advertised articles but this spoke to me on a spiritual level, similar to gas station hot fries. The article didn’t give any type of timeline or roadsign for when they come but I definitely think I’m waiting for my lifetime partner. Wherever and whoever they are I hope I’m the lifetime partner for them too because ain’t no breaking up around here!
I try to picture what real, true love looks like and I can’t. Maybe thats because I’ve never really seen what true love conventionally looks like because it looks different for everyone. The closest I’ve come to witnessing true love was only introduced to me in the past few years when my mom decided that love was worth it. I grew up with a single mom who wasn’t really single. My mother left the love of her life when my sister and I were born and moved us far away to protect us at the expense of her love.
Well my sophomore year she gave in to love and I could not be more proud. Not only did I gain a new mommy but I gained more respect for them and for love than I ever had before. I didn’t realize how much I yearned to see successful love and although not perfect they love their way and that is more than perfect to me.
I hope that one day I will love half as deeply and as thoroughly as they do.