Overwhelmed with Priorities and Underwhelmed with Passion: Trusting the Process

“Your are exactly where you are suppose to be”

This will be unlike anything I’ve previously written.Far less structure and way more splinters.

How often of you get a minute to self-reflect and realize that there aren’t many things  going on in your life that truly make you happy? It’s like being on a train to Disney World your whole life and you STILL can’t see it in the distance out of the window.

That is me. I am that.

I’m looking around and everybody is lighting up at the mere mention of their passion snd i feel overwhelmed with priorities and underwhelmed with passion.I know what I’m doing is for my future but that doesn’t make getting out the the bed at 7am any easier.

I stumbled into this graduate school journey completely by accident (crazy, right?). I was dead set on getting a job, moving to Atlanta and finally being an adult with my sister. Everywhere I applied, and even interviews turned me down. During my summer class, post graduation, I was presented with the option to apply for graduate school in the same college in which I received a bachelors degree and I would almost be guaranteed an assistantship. The kicker was I had three weeks to study, take the GRE and apply for school before the deadline.

I told God this was impossible, and I didn’t need another degree. I told God I was done with school and needed to start making real money.

He wasn’t trying to hear any of that.

At this point I had no jobs lined up and I owed my apartment complex almost $2,000. I came up with $200 and God told me to pay for the GRE. Once again I reminded him that I needed to pay my rent and he told me again to register for the GRE. after fighting it for longer than I should have I gave in and took my rent money to pay for the GRE. Not even  two weeks later  I accepted into the program and was awarded an assistantship that covered all of my bills and my tuition for the duration of the 2 year program. As I’m in my last 60 days of this program, more than anything academic, I have learned to trust the process. I feel like I’m constantly overwhelmed with different day to day activities and I have to remind myself that I’ve gotten though them all before and at one point I was just as overwhelmed with my 8th grade class project or my senior class presentation and even my hair style for my first day of college.  No matter where you are right now, your in the middle of a process that is bigger then your day to day problems. Everything has an end, just like it had a beginning.

Learning to trust the process isn’t easy but necessary. What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Day to day stressors come and go and if you are reading this right now you have overcome every obstacle that has presented itself.  Everything happens for a reason and the quicker you are able to step back and see the bigger picture the quicker you can get though the everyday trials and move toward the larger goal.

 

 

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